I am a big fan of David Brooks op-eds in the New York Times. But he’s dead wrong in today’s column when he writes that Sundar Pichai, the CEO of Google should resign following “memogate.” 

See link here: Sundar Pichai Should Resign as Google’s C.E.O.

His argument makes no sense. To people like me, Brooks is basically saying the white guy messed up so fire the Indian guy.

Upon reading my blog entry below, the wife gleefully pointed out that she scored 100 points higher than yours truly on the SAT’s. 

Most of my friends have no clue what the phrase “Indian Cologne” means. That’s not surprising because all of my friends are as white as members of the Trump administration so why would they know?  

But utter the eponymous title of this blog to any Indian-American and your likely response will probably consist of something like “Oh yeah, I remember smelling him before seeing him.”

The other day I was on BART departing from the Indian mecca known as Dublin. I swear this train had more Indian passengers on it than the flight from Newark to Mumbai. Suddenly, I smelled the same scent I first came across oh so many years ago.  Yes, I just experienced a case of “Indian Cologne.”

It was another one of those Desi flashbacks like when my mom used to threaten to hit me if I didn’t score a perfect 1600 on my SATs like “all of the other Indian aunties’ kids did.”* But I had been away for so long, that I almost forgot the experience. 

One can certainly argue whether the scent is pleasing in nature or not, but let there be no debate as to whether a proper amount was applied on said individual or not. A person exhibiting “Indian Cologne” characteristics believes that more is better. Such an individual says to himself “Let me overwhelm and overpower everyone with my scent.”
But why? What is the rationale with dumping a cup of cologne over one’s body and face and perhaps even scalp? I am no psychologist but my sense is that those exhibiting “Indian Cologne” characteristics are simply trying to fit in; but the problem is that no one really wears cologne to work on a daily basis! “Indian Cologne” people simply try too hard.

Could it also be that such individuals are trying to cover up the natural smell that a lot of Indians have? Yes, I think that this is probably the case. 
So what is my advice to the BART rider that I smelled a mile away? As Idina Menzel says, just “let it go.”  Don’t cover it up. Just be yourself and if people start saying you smell like an “Indian” then you should take that unused bottle of cologne that you have and dump it all over them. 

As for me, the heck with BART. From now on, I’m driving. 😊
*For the record, I scored a 1320 on my SAT’s which is in the “Top 1%/Bottom 1%.” I placed in the top 1% of all students who took the test but my score was in the bottom 1% of Indian-Americans who took the exam. And I actually scored higher on the verbal portion than the math part. If that doesn’t make me the Whitest Indian-American ever, then I do not know what does.

Namaste everybody!